Thinking about Max

This whole weekend I fantasied about seeing Max in DC. Then on Monday, I found out that Max was in town. I am so sad, I miss him so much. I keep telling myself what Naomi told me...her brother-in-law told her that no matter how mad he gets at Naomi's sister, he couldn't let her go...I want someone who can't let me go.

May 4 - Thinking About Max

Finally told Steven about Max and his feelings. Steven was like, I told you not to tell him right away...you scared him away. He said you have to ease into these things with men. Oh well. I'm too impatient. I'm learning to keep myself occupied physically and emotionally. I ordered a toy.

April 27 - Just Miss Him

Yesterday, I spent a fun filled day with Naomi. We shopped for dresses. We talked a little about Max but not much. Today, I really miss Max.

April 25 - I'm Back

I have so much to write. I will have summarize:
1.) Leadership Meeting went well. I'm very pleased with my own work.
2.) I wasn't ready to leave Miami on Monday. I changed my flight to Wednesday
3.) I love Miami...I wish Max and I had just moved there. We would have so much fun as a couple in Miami. Also he would be around lots of Haitians and his brother.
4.) My cousin is the coolest. I had so much fun hanging at her house and with her. I can't wait to go back.
5.) She was so disappointed to hear Max and I had ended things. Oh my gosh, she was hard core...she Keely what were you thinking. I wasn't.
7.) Back to work only 4 hours on Thursday and shit hit the fan. Why couldn't it be today. Now they might associated my time in Miami with the shit hitting the fan. Ugh!!

8.) I have a great tan and look forward to this weekend.

April 17 - Taking For Granted

Just got off the phone with Tiffany. She wondered if she should be worried since Rico doesn't own a car or house. I told her not to hit the panic button. Rico lives in DC so he doesn't need a car. Regarding the house, she needs to find out why he doesn't have a house. If I were evaluating him, I would want to know if you got sick, would he do whatever it took to care of you and his family. I told her one of things I took for granted with Max, is that I knew (1) he would do whatever it took to make his wife happy and (2) he would take care of his family no matter what. I knew this however I thought I wanted a man who wanted to conquer the world, too. However, it wasn't until I had quiet time, that I realized men with this personality and I don't get along well. I thought about men I had dated with this personality, we never got along well. Max has helped me learn what is really important to me in a mate. What are must have qualities. All right let the games begin, the troops arrive today. I really love you Max, you are still my cake batter ice cream. I will write about cake batter on another blog.

April 16 - Haitian Restaurant

I don't know why I like to torture myself. For some reason, I felt by going to a Haitian restaurant it would make me feel closer to Max. Here I am in the restaurant surrounded by Haitian artwork and pictures and all I can think about is Max. I'm with a co-worker and I wish Max was there instead of her. I wanted to know what Haitian food looked like, what would be on the menu. I ordered stewed goat. The restaurant experience was bittersweet. I told my co-worker how I tried to cook a Haitian meal for Max and and it wasn't clear to him until he drank the cremace or kremas. Then he was like oh you are trying to cook a Haitian meal.

http://www.clubplanet.com/Venues/82064/Miami-Beach/Tap-Tap

April 16 - The Answer

Max answered my questions. After hearing his response I felt I didn't have the right to even ask him to consider us again. I guess this is my first time having to suppress my feelings. I wonder how things would have gone, if I had expressed my thoughts to Max like I do in the blog. I wouldn't have hurt him so badly. I know about no boundaries to what's possible...I actually bought a wedding dress, "crazy talk." I figured if Max didn't want to marry me, I would sell it. I haven't told anyone about this purchase.